I make myself laugh.
God is so amazingly patient. I started this adventure so excited – I was running off all the adrenaline that comes with most adventures we embark on when the end is just a blur in the middle distance because the future is uncertain…
I forget that with me I am easily excited by the prospect of anything new – I like to pioneer, I get bored easily, I like to see new things, meet, new people, and just adventure you know. But, every time I do something new I forget that my energy levels deplete after a week or so especially if I am surrounded by people continuously.
I love people, I love adventures but I need time to process things. I need time alone to really take it in and absorb everything that my senses have encountered. So as the reality of my situations begins to set like the sun… the days once rolled into one long one. Each day becomes longer and more difficult.
I know that God is going to stretch me all the lessons I have learnt before I need to revisit them and makes sure that they are not just a distant memory. Living day in day out with 20 females and having to spend several hours of most days of the week with over 60 people is a lot for me to handle on a daily basis.
But sharing my heart with God, he shows me his kindness and grace – something I too need to extend.
I pray and he shows me a way out – it’s my choice whether I take it or not.
One of the girls shared a picture at our worship night of a bike that was a little old a rusty. It requires new wheels and handle bars etc. but if those things are changed but the frame remains the same old and rusty it won look as nice. She shared that God wanted to give this bike (us) a complete overhaul. He wants not only to replace the tyres but to revamp the frame – it may be painful because the frame will need to be sanded etc but it will be worth it because although the frame is the same it will be good as new.
That is the journey he has me on. God is going to be sanding down my rough edges. Living with 20 others day in day out will definitely help me to grow in patience and grace – I just need to choose to learn these lessons and lean on Jesus through the process.